Get me out of here...I DO NOT BELONG!

I have sat at work all day today stressing over the fact I have to be here. Frankly, I need to eat. I would not be doing this shit if I didn't have to. But what would I be doing if I were not here? I honestly haven't a clue. But yet here I sit full of energy, anticpating the moment in which I can leave. I have realized things today that effect my future. As of this moment I have nothing that is stable. My job is what most of you will consider stable. But I will not be here forever. I do not want to come to this building everyday to listen to people scream at me as to why their money has not been deposited into their account, or that the system in which they make the money is not working. Red in the face, I'm sure, upset at ME that I somehow messed up. 90% of the time it not even being a fault by myself or the company in which I work for. When it actually ends up being their own fucking fault. It seems evil. All these people getting angry, and fiery mad. Having no respect for the person on the other end. All over money. It doesn't seem right. It upsets me that this is what I subject myself to everyday. This is not meaningful. Why am I wasting my time being here.

Oh yea, I need to eat.

I like being Dr. Dan. When did I become this person where friends of mine come to me for their problems? I don't mind it, but it's nice that they come to me for my opinion. I have a lot of female friends who pain me over and over. Just because they don't get it. This will be the worst written entry on this page by the way. No thinking, just typing what comes out. Ok, back on topic. Currently, my friend is dating boy. Boy hears from ex that she is pregnant. Leaves friend and goes back to ex. Days later, breaks up with ex again and tries to return to friend. No bueno. Cut from the team.

Also, other friend is casually dating boy. Friend loses virginity to boy. Boy explains he wants to the best for friend. Boy starts acting distant and hard to understand. FRIEND DOESNT GET IT.

Thats as simple as it can be written. Maybe they will read this and get it. Knock knock.

I am wanting to expand. Create hobbies in a variety of different medias to keep myself busy. Lately it feels like I am busy in supplying the needs for other people. Out of 100% of my day, maybe 10% at MAX is done doing something that is strictly for me. My own time. Sometimes feeling trapped. There really isnt enough time in the day. I want more.

I just moved into my grandmas house because I NEEDED a place to live. Within only a matter of days I am realizing this to be a mistake. I no longer can live with family. After living with my girlfriend for that past few months and finally moving out to some place new, moving in with family is depressing. Family gets into patterns to where they don't see you out of what they already know of you. I am not being seen as an adult male. I am being seen as the baby of the family. Maybe this is a subconcious way of feeling younger. (Someone just brought cake to my desk. BOMB DIGGITY!) But none of the things in my life that I consider priorities, are seen as priorities to them. I will always stay young. I will always act like I am still in junior high. But that does not prevent me from taking responsibility when I need to. I do not find my place of residence as stable. I have no place to call home right now. If I were able to, I would live in an apartment by myself. The idea of living on my own is relaxing to me. In high school, I talked with friends on the joys and excitement we would endure by being roommates. After many roommates and living quarters, I have realized it is not enjoyable. It does nothing but actually break those friendships. So I will search to find a single apartment. We'll see if I can find something stable. I would like to go home. I just need to find it first.

(This cake isn't THAT great.)

I will market myself. It doesn't matter what you think about it. I do not intend to gain anything but the satisfaction in myself. But you will see. I will work on it.

That is enough for now.