Monday, April 27, 2009

Tour Memories

So I decided to write some memories here and there to make my blog a little more enjoyable. It will also allow me to remember them for a longer period of time.

These memories are just a few that I have from my days touring with a band called The Trademark. I first became friends with them my sophomore year of high school and a few years later after graduation, we set off on their first tour ever. We did a few weekend tours and a few longer tours. But these are the memories from tour.

We were in Nebraska at one show that had a really big turn out for a crowd. It was awesome. The fans loved it, Drew(bassist) did a guitar swing with his bass that broke off from the strap and shot into the wall of the venue. Just an overall good show. We were all on a high, fans wanting autographs, tons buying merch. I was on filming duty, so I was all over the place. Interviewing fans, and just getting a lot of footage for a possible tour diary. I remember these two girls were saying that they would make out and take off their clothes for the band. So a local fan, myself, the two girls, and if I remember correctly, two other fans went outside. I knew nothing would happen but I was mistaken. They made a deal with the local fan that they would if he stripped down and ran around the city block undressed. Funny thing is, he did. We all made fun and laughed. And we went back inside while he took off running.

We were in St. Cloud, Minnesota another night. We got to the show early and had nothing to do. Browsed the Internet, checked the myspace, responded to emails, etc. Across the street was a sex shop and oddly enough, most of the towns we played in, the venue would be right next to a sex shop. We went to every one. At this particular one I have some awesome memories. I remember holding up a DVD and handing it to my buddy Riley, telling him I was going to buy it for him. He was super excited. He didn't notice that it was a Chicks with Dicks movie.
I also found a giant purple fist dildo. The first one I had ever seen in my life in person. Picked it up, hid in the aisles, and jumped out trying to punch my friends in the face with it as they came around the corner.
The band we were touring with was a band called Offset. Love that band to death. Such awesome dudes. The lead singers birthday was that day and we all pitched in and bought him a penis squirt gun. Gave it to him on stage. Haha oh the laughs.

We had a show in Fargo, North Dakota. Drew played the show dressed up in a batman costume made for someone 10 years younger than him. Quite interesting. After the show we took off for a 13 hour drive from Fargo to Torrington, Wyoming. Quite the drive. We stopped at some gas stations here and there.
Let me take a break and describe to you how we drove from city to city. After every show, we would load up the van, Drew(bass) and Natty(drums) would get in the back seat. Riley(guitar) would drive and I would co-pilot. That's how it was every night. No one else ever drove, I rarely didn't co-pilot. I had some prescription medicine (that I am not going to release the name because it shouldn't be used how we used it) that we took which would keep us awake. You never feel tired. It makes you feel awake. Not on a hyper boost. Its actually a great medicine when used properly. Bad thing is, You are supposed to take one and it will keep you awake for 12 hours. Its made for insomniacs to take when they wake up so when its time for bed, they'll be able to sleep since they didn't nap or feel tired throughout the day. But if you take another pill when those 12 hours are up.....you'll stay awake. Feeling great. Wide awake. After a few days though...you're body will just crash and you'll sleep for at least a day.
Well right before we left, we took the medicine. And started to drive. We drove forever stopping at gas stations. I was 18. Had bad habits of drinking tons of mountain dew, gas station coffee, and muffins. I ate so many damn lemon muffins. Delicious, yet extremely unhealthy.
Well we drove through the night and Drew woke up around 6am and was chatting with us. I decided it would probably be best if he was wide awake for me to maybe sleep a little. So we switched spots. During my sleep, a mighty war rumbled inside me. Between all the crap food I ate and my stomach. My stomach lost. I wake up and we are driving through the mountains. Somewhere in South Dakota near Mt Rushmore.
I say, "Hey...can we pull over...I need to pee."
Response, "Shut up, Fat."
(My nickname was Fat Dan...so I was called Fat for short. That's another story.)
I say, "I need to throw up."
Response, "Liar...you just said you needed to pee."
Knowing that I wasn't going to be able to convince them I really needed to throw up, I opened the door to the van, leaned out and started to vomit.
Cars behind us started honking, Drew had half his body out the window laughing and screaming "SOMEONE GRAB THE VIDEO CAMERA...THIS IS AWESOME!"
I get back in the van, feeling a thousand times better, and went back to sleep. I would wake up 3 hours later to continue the drive. But somewhere near Mt. Rushmore, my vomit is on a freeway.

Once we arrived in Torrington, Wyoming we found out that the venue for the concert no longer could have the show. A fan told us that we could do the show in his garage at his house. And his parents wouldn't mind. But this was so last minute. There was no way to make sure that people knew where the new location would be. School was out in an hour and we made tons of hand made flyer's. Offset was touring in a motor home while we were in a tour van. We parked both in front of the school. School got out and all the kids came out. Brian from Offset put on his wrestler mask and stood on top of the RV. Screaming at all the kids, telling them to go to Jake's house for the concert. All of us handing out our hand-made flyer's. Turns out, it worked. The garage was packed. It was a pretty big garage too. And it was filled. The parents rocked out with us, the kids had a good time, we made bank on merchandise. Good turn out.

One awesome memory I have was doing an interview with DJ Rossstar. They were the first band he had on the show was un-signed. But it was fun. We had a good time. A lot of really big bands had been in his small little apartment and he is rad. We had just gotten back from the beach before going to his show. So we were a little wet. I think I'll tell you about that....now.

We are from Utah. It was April. The weather was warm. It was still snowing in Utah and cold. We were excited to see the sun and be able to go to the beach. Our pale white bodies put on our swimsuits and Drew and I ventured out into the Pacific Ocean. The locals who were running on the boardwalk in parkas and sweatshirts, probably thought in their head "Crazy tourists."
Because who else would be jumping into 50 degree water and having a good time?

These are all the stories I will post for now. Even though I have many more. And you're probably sick of reading by now as well. Hope you enjoyed it.

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