So not much blogging. Yea, I hate it. I honestly do. But it really is true what they say. Once you have a kid your entire life is suddenly devoted to them. If I am not at work, I am either cooking dinner, cleaning, while Kristine holds/feeds him or vice versa. Quite the interesting turn of events. But alas, it is amazing. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I love the kid to death. It's almost overwhelming when I actually think about it.
What I find crazy is how suddenly I have every single fear of a new parent. I fear the craziest, most random, and sometimes down right absurd things. I notice things that I never noticed in the world. I had a friend who said once "If you want to see the world differently, do shrooms. It will never be the same after that." I never took his advice, but if you don't want to do drugs, have a kid. It ALSO changes your view on things and suddenly you see things different;y than before. I used to think that if I had a kid, how could I handle the crying? I have 11 nieces and nephews. And whenever they cry or get loud I literally cannot stand it and have to go to a different room. With all children it is like that. If a kid is crying at a restaurant or being rowdy in a public area, I want to smack them and say "Shut the hell up!" or tell their parents to get the hell out of here. It's a patience thing. Then, I have a kid. And suddenly, I have patience. I can listen to him cry about being hungry or just down right fussy and it doesn't effect me the way that it once did. It's quite.....indescribable in so many aspects how different you become after having a child. In so many good ways though. None of them are bad. At least I don't think.
One of the most amazing things about giving birth to a child is the flood of emotions. And calling it a flood is even an understatement. The second I saw him, and heard him cry......shit. I bawled my eyes out. I tried to hold it in. Didn't help. I'll even let you into a more personal moment. It was so overwhelming how much love and emotion you suddenly feel, that I walked out to grab my parents who were in the waiting room and pulled my mom aside and just leaned into her and let it all out. Could not control it. I felt like I had been carrying a semi truck all day. I was just so overwhelmed with joy, and so many other unexplainable emotions, that I just let it all out onto her shoulder. Which I believe was also the best person ever to have done that too. Crying over my child being born into the arms of the amazing woman who brought me into the world. I am so much bigger than my mom in physical size, but at that moment, I felt small. I felt safe. It was amazing.
Didn't really think you were going to be reading a big ole sappy blog now did ya? Who knew this asshole had feelings and emotions like this eh? Well I'm honest. And never ashamed to share my life with you all.
But it's hard at the same time. Being a parent is definitely a new experience and one I will continue to have every day for the rest of my life. Quite a remarkable and fantastic year this is turning out to be. One of the hardest I have ever encountered, and not just because of the baby. But I am definitely excited for what's to come.
On a final note, I will try to blog more. And I know I have said that in the last few blogs, but shit, give me a break. Haha I want to, I really do. I just have to find the time. I'll try to sneak a post in here as much as I can.
Anywho,
See ya!
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