So last night my lady and I drove to get coffee. We had a night full of packing ahead of us preparing for the move into an apartment we don't even know if we are approved for. But regardless, we are moving Friday no matter what. Just not certain on where we will be moving to. I digress. So she didn't want to go into the coffee shop to get her drink, so she sent me in with $3 and the change I had in my pockets. I asked her if she wanted me to leave a tip and she said to leave a dollar. The drink ends up being $3.51 and this barista was left with a shitty tip. No biggie in my mind, because it wasn't that difficult of a drink and yea. When telling her the price of the drink, she continues to say "I should have gone in. I probably would have gotten it for cheaper." Which isn't cocky, it's most likely true. The little barista dude has a crush on my lady. So I am more than certain she probably could have gotten it for at least a dollar cheaper.
But I went on to tell her, that in most cases, a girl will usually get a deal on food, order, etc. if the person selling the product is male. Guys are all about giving an attractive female a discount or something. Most of the time just to be nice to the attractive girl, maybe sometimes just to impress the girl. Maybe even to get a number, whatever. But I was explaining that in most cases a guy will be have that way. But if an attractive guy goes in to buy something from a female, the female may think he's just drop dead attractive, but will probably still charge him full price. In some cases a girl might give a discount or something. But usually a female will behave that way. It's no biggie. Mainly also because girls don't need to behave like guys in that sense. Guys are always on the prowl, trying to impress the opposite sex. Ladies on the other hand, even mildly attractive, know they can get a guy. They don't REALLY need to impress anyone. There is always some guy out there who is interested. Might not be up to the girls standards, but still, there is some male out there that is interested in every girl.
The conversation then turned and I started laughing and said "The only reason I am good looking is because of you being on my arm. Being next to you just makes me better looking...." then I stopped. Cause I realized what I was saying was so incredibly false. I corrected myself. "Wait...I am more hideous standing next to you than attractive. People probably stare at us and go 'That girl can do much better than that ugly, fat turd'." Wow. Not in all cases, the attractive company you keep is benefiting you. I learned this last night. Laughter soon ensued because of how hilariously true the statement was. What an interesting realization. But I will admit that sometimes it does help in say, a group of friends. Kind of how there isn't that attractive of a girl or guy, but just by the attractive friends you are more susceptible to finding them attractive rather than seeing them alone. I don't know. I'm talking out of my ass now.
Another realization recently is that I haven't had any sickness in the past year. Which makes me quite excited. I haven't had as much of a sniffle. And I would have to say this is most likely my most unhealthy I have lived. Still, nothing to celebrate. OR NOT! Give me some fucking Jagermeister or maybe I'll start making some drinks. On that point, moving into a new place will allow me to start bartending again. SHIT! So excited for that to happen. It will be good times. I love making drinks in my kitchen for friends. I could do it as a job but I think I would lose the love I have for it. Same thing with cooking. Love doing it, but couldn't work in a restaurant. I'd just flip my shit too easily. Anywho, time to end this.
You know you love me.
XOXO
Monday, October 25, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Fuck her Matt! Fuck her for ME!
So I have been staring out the window on this dreary Sunday afternoon and it got me thinking about my most recent car accident. So I thought I would let you all know what kind of car accidents I have been in in my lifetime. It most likely isn't that interesting, but just as watching a car accident is entertaining, hearing about them seems to have people pretty tuned in as well.
My earliest car accident I can remember is my dad hitting a deer back when I was around 7 or 8 years old. We were driving down 14600th in Draper and headed towards the interstate, and a deer slams right into the side of our car, flips over the hood and runs away. It had to have died later cause we hit it, or I guess it hit us pretty hard and there was some blood and hair where it hit.
My next car accident in memory is one from when I was about 16 years old. My buddy Court and I had gone over to our neighbors house to hang with them, even though we were banned from going over there. Their parents just didn't like us. And last I heard, they now don't like just me. They like him. Which in a sense, is quite fucked up. But whatever. To each their own. But our buddy Tyler had to go somewhere, and we decided to tag along. We most definitely weren't supposed to be with him but we did. It was a risk he was willing to take. We were driving his uncle's car and eating donuts that we had gotten from a previous donut run(I'll explain these later), and Court was eating an apple. While driving on main street in Lehi, the small 2 lane road that is constantly packed with traffic, Court finished his apple. There was a pick up truck on our right parked along the street. As we approached it Court says "I bet I can make it into that truck." As he gets ready to throw the apple core, Tyler rear ends the car in front of us sending Courts head into the windshield, my donut onto the floor of the car, and Tyler into a bewilderment of what just happened. Since we weren't even supposed to be with Tyler in the first place, what did we decide to do? Book it the fuck out of there, leaving Tyler to deal with the accident report and all. That was an interesting one.
The next one after that was when I was living in Heber, UT. I had my buddy come up from Lehi to go on a blind date with the best friend of the girl I was interested in. Which sucked for him, cause she was not the best looking girl. Horrible teeth if I remember correctly. But Im not even sure what the date consisted of, but we went on it. The girls lived in Park City and so we had to drive them home. It was around midnight and we were driving pretty fast on the interstate, around 95MPH to hurry & get the girls home, when out of nowhere a deer runs out into the road. Not across the road, but directly at us. We hit that sucker going 95MPH! Super loud crunch & bang, and the car is off. We roll over to the side of the road. The deer has destroyed the car. The front end was just a mess. The deer flew up over the hood of the car and off by the passenger door. We definitely killed it on impact, but the weird part was that the body was no where to be found. We couldn't find it anywhere. It was pretty crazy. But that was the day we killed my buddies Dodge Neon.
Note* So far on all of these accidents, I have been a passenger. This is where that all changes.
The next one I believe was when I was driving in Draper. I was driving my beater little Nissan Sentra and I'm not sure what we were doing before, but the gf at the time and I needed to flip a U-turn. The road didn't have a center turning lane, and the left lane was backed up from everyone who was currently getting off work to go home. So while sitting there in my lane, blinker-a-blinkin, waiting for an open spot, I notice a car approaching in my rear view mirror. As I watch it I begin to wonder if the car is going to go around me or not. Once I realize it isn't, I turn to my gf and say "Hold on" then *BAM!* I get hit by this car while stopped going 50MPH. Shit hurt. Whiplash was pretty bad. I pull off to the side of the road, as do they. Their car is completely annihilated. It was a 1996 BMW that was in pretty good condition, but completely destroyed on the front end. Steaming, dripping fluids, tires exploded, etc. Looking at my car, Wasn't too bad. Just dented in on one side, and my trunk no longer shut. Got the police report and they got towed off, and I drove away. My car was a little trooper. I also got $2k out of that wreck. My gf went to school with the guy and girl in the other car. The guy ended up telling her, "Yea we totally weren't paying attention. She was trying to find a cd to listen to, texting, and I had my hands in her pants."
What was that? You heard me right. Not only is it hard to find a cd and text while driving, but who knows if she hit his mid-orgasm. What a joke. But oh well. Quite the funny story to pass down to you loyal blog readers. *Crickets*
Damn I hope someone is reading this.
The next accident is the most recent one. Nothing too exciting. Just hydroplaned into a car. Their car...no damage. Maybe a crack in the bumper. Nothing else. My car, like the BMW in the last story, annihilated. Well not totally. It still runs. Just looks like it got destroyed. Crunched hood and crunched bumper.
Well there you go. Some pretty uninteresting stories about car accidents I have been involved in. Maybe in a few hours or possibly tomorrow I will have some better gems to share with you. Like maybe some tour stories from back in the day. I have some good ones about sex shops, bars we had shows at, the Lutheran church, etc. Those are always good to reflect on. Mainly for me, not for you. It helps me remember them. HA! Bye nerds.
My earliest car accident I can remember is my dad hitting a deer back when I was around 7 or 8 years old. We were driving down 14600th in Draper and headed towards the interstate, and a deer slams right into the side of our car, flips over the hood and runs away. It had to have died later cause we hit it, or I guess it hit us pretty hard and there was some blood and hair where it hit.
My next car accident in memory is one from when I was about 16 years old. My buddy Court and I had gone over to our neighbors house to hang with them, even though we were banned from going over there. Their parents just didn't like us. And last I heard, they now don't like just me. They like him. Which in a sense, is quite fucked up. But whatever. To each their own. But our buddy Tyler had to go somewhere, and we decided to tag along. We most definitely weren't supposed to be with him but we did. It was a risk he was willing to take. We were driving his uncle's car and eating donuts that we had gotten from a previous donut run(I'll explain these later), and Court was eating an apple. While driving on main street in Lehi, the small 2 lane road that is constantly packed with traffic, Court finished his apple. There was a pick up truck on our right parked along the street. As we approached it Court says "I bet I can make it into that truck." As he gets ready to throw the apple core, Tyler rear ends the car in front of us sending Courts head into the windshield, my donut onto the floor of the car, and Tyler into a bewilderment of what just happened. Since we weren't even supposed to be with Tyler in the first place, what did we decide to do? Book it the fuck out of there, leaving Tyler to deal with the accident report and all. That was an interesting one.
The next one after that was when I was living in Heber, UT. I had my buddy come up from Lehi to go on a blind date with the best friend of the girl I was interested in. Which sucked for him, cause she was not the best looking girl. Horrible teeth if I remember correctly. But Im not even sure what the date consisted of, but we went on it. The girls lived in Park City and so we had to drive them home. It was around midnight and we were driving pretty fast on the interstate, around 95MPH to hurry & get the girls home, when out of nowhere a deer runs out into the road. Not across the road, but directly at us. We hit that sucker going 95MPH! Super loud crunch & bang, and the car is off. We roll over to the side of the road. The deer has destroyed the car. The front end was just a mess. The deer flew up over the hood of the car and off by the passenger door. We definitely killed it on impact, but the weird part was that the body was no where to be found. We couldn't find it anywhere. It was pretty crazy. But that was the day we killed my buddies Dodge Neon.
Note* So far on all of these accidents, I have been a passenger. This is where that all changes.
The next one I believe was when I was driving in Draper. I was driving my beater little Nissan Sentra and I'm not sure what we were doing before, but the gf at the time and I needed to flip a U-turn. The road didn't have a center turning lane, and the left lane was backed up from everyone who was currently getting off work to go home. So while sitting there in my lane, blinker-a-blinkin, waiting for an open spot, I notice a car approaching in my rear view mirror. As I watch it I begin to wonder if the car is going to go around me or not. Once I realize it isn't, I turn to my gf and say "Hold on" then *BAM!* I get hit by this car while stopped going 50MPH. Shit hurt. Whiplash was pretty bad. I pull off to the side of the road, as do they. Their car is completely annihilated. It was a 1996 BMW that was in pretty good condition, but completely destroyed on the front end. Steaming, dripping fluids, tires exploded, etc. Looking at my car, Wasn't too bad. Just dented in on one side, and my trunk no longer shut. Got the police report and they got towed off, and I drove away. My car was a little trooper. I also got $2k out of that wreck. My gf went to school with the guy and girl in the other car. The guy ended up telling her, "Yea we totally weren't paying attention. She was trying to find a cd to listen to, texting, and I had my hands in her pants."
What was that? You heard me right. Not only is it hard to find a cd and text while driving, but who knows if she hit his mid-orgasm. What a joke. But oh well. Quite the funny story to pass down to you loyal blog readers. *Crickets*
Damn I hope someone is reading this.
The next accident is the most recent one. Nothing too exciting. Just hydroplaned into a car. Their car...no damage. Maybe a crack in the bumper. Nothing else. My car, like the BMW in the last story, annihilated. Well not totally. It still runs. Just looks like it got destroyed. Crunched hood and crunched bumper.
Well there you go. Some pretty uninteresting stories about car accidents I have been involved in. Maybe in a few hours or possibly tomorrow I will have some better gems to share with you. Like maybe some tour stories from back in the day. I have some good ones about sex shops, bars we had shows at, the Lutheran church, etc. Those are always good to reflect on. Mainly for me, not for you. It helps me remember them. HA! Bye nerds.
My Precious! O my Precious!
I've had a bit of a hectic week. And it doesn't seem to be slowing down. The sad part is it is one of those hectic weeks, where not a lot is going on right in front of you, but lots of stuff is happening in the background. For example, we recently applied to move into these apartments, and to get the application right and all the lease shit figured out, we've had to turn in a lot of documents. Since it is income restricted, they dive pretty much into your personal life to verify earnings and everything. Have I already explained this situation? Well shit...if I have, nothings changed. If I haven't, well then......that's what's going on. I like the idea that I am blogging again, but I have been struggling with things to talk about. So I think I will do a little bit of story telling.
So I would not consider myself a hairy male. Like, some dudes are covered on the chest, belly, back, shoulders, etc. It can get pretty crazy on some dudes. I am not like that. I have it on my belly, but it's not even thick. If you are picturing me naked right now, then I have succeeded. But there are some men out there that I feel quite bad about being so hairy. I know they don't like it. My buddy Xtian is a pretty hairy dude. Has it all over his body and such. But still, is that the worse I have witnessed in my life? Not at all. By far the most hairy man I have ever witnessed was a kid around the age of 22. Skinnier kid, not bigger really. Met him in Vermillion, South Dakota while on tour. The kid lifted up his shirt and I swear to god it was like staring at Chewbacca. The hair was so black and so thick. I could carpet a house with his stomach/chair/back hair. It was pretty intense. But didn't stop there. He went on to tell me that his girlfriend once waxed his ass. Which he said was so incredibly painful, not because of getting waxed (though I am sure it did include some pain), but because of the hair growing back after a week was just incredibly uncomfortable. Sounds incredibly awful to be a hairy male.
I've been trying to sell my car lately. Which is incredibly hard to do for 2 reasons. 1. It's got body damage. 2. I KNOW I am losing money on it, just because I know even in it's condition, that it's worth more. But no one wants to purchase a car that has some pretty significant body damage. So here I am selling a car that is worth about $800, still drives, and all, but has it for sell for about $500. Now I know what you are thinking, "Dude....you drive a car that is worth $800? You must drive a shitty car." But it's honestly not that bad. It is quite nice, just old. But even as an old car, it was pretty well taken care of. But still shitty for me since I have to keep lowering the price.
This is all for now. I don't want to continue writing. Ha!
So I would not consider myself a hairy male. Like, some dudes are covered on the chest, belly, back, shoulders, etc. It can get pretty crazy on some dudes. I am not like that. I have it on my belly, but it's not even thick. If you are picturing me naked right now, then I have succeeded. But there are some men out there that I feel quite bad about being so hairy. I know they don't like it. My buddy Xtian is a pretty hairy dude. Has it all over his body and such. But still, is that the worse I have witnessed in my life? Not at all. By far the most hairy man I have ever witnessed was a kid around the age of 22. Skinnier kid, not bigger really. Met him in Vermillion, South Dakota while on tour. The kid lifted up his shirt and I swear to god it was like staring at Chewbacca. The hair was so black and so thick. I could carpet a house with his stomach/chair/back hair. It was pretty intense. But didn't stop there. He went on to tell me that his girlfriend once waxed his ass. Which he said was so incredibly painful, not because of getting waxed (though I am sure it did include some pain), but because of the hair growing back after a week was just incredibly uncomfortable. Sounds incredibly awful to be a hairy male.
I've been trying to sell my car lately. Which is incredibly hard to do for 2 reasons. 1. It's got body damage. 2. I KNOW I am losing money on it, just because I know even in it's condition, that it's worth more. But no one wants to purchase a car that has some pretty significant body damage. So here I am selling a car that is worth about $800, still drives, and all, but has it for sell for about $500. Now I know what you are thinking, "Dude....you drive a car that is worth $800? You must drive a shitty car." But it's honestly not that bad. It is quite nice, just old. But even as an old car, it was pretty well taken care of. But still shitty for me since I have to keep lowering the price.
This is all for now. I don't want to continue writing. Ha!
Friday, October 22, 2010
I know, but I had to test it. It's where I was at during that time!
So as I write this I am sitting at the nail salon while my lady gets her nails worked on for her Halloween costume. We've been here for about an hour and a half. I'm forced to sit on an incredibly uncomfortable couch listening to quite possibly the worst 90's songs on Sirius radio. To my right are two ladies and the nail girl all talking quite openly about not wanting men who are "hung like a horse" or one who "eats like one". Just listening to this conversation has made me a dumber individual in the world. I thought it could be the chemicals in the air, but turns out to just be the air-headedness of the females to my right. Apparently one of the girls boyfriends is in a band. He's also "chunky but not overweight". This guy has to be in a Nickleback wanna-be band. He grew his hair long just for their music video. Hmm, I know a lot of dudes in bands, none that care THAT much about the length of their hair for a music video. I don't get girls like this. Jeans and 5 inch heels. Never have I liked a girl who wears that style. It kind of screams "I'm a whore". But whatever. This chemical is killing my head. It's starting to overpower the females dumb laughs & convo. But the gf knows how to get me to do these things, (yes...I do it out of love) and by that I mean feeding me Carls Jr. prior to the nail appointment is worth it. Buy me a big yummy meal, and I'll tag along doing whatever. Even going to the DMV. Yea, I said it. Anywho, I'm done with typing this on my phone. I'm out.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Do you know what all of these things have in common? They're cheap!
I know it has been a long time since I have posted here. I'm not too sure on why I ever stopped, probably just got busy and then got busier and never returned. Yea, it's been a year. Yea, shit has changed. Quite a bit from how it was last year too. So here has what happened, friends have come and gone, new ones have come and gone, residency has come and gone, and jobs have come and gone. Started dating the gf and have been heavily in love for the past year. There, all caught up? Good. Now we can begin.
So one thing I wanted to talk about today is something I have witnessed over the past year. How creepy some fuckin people are. I sit at my girlfriends work from time to time and play on the internet, drink coffee, chat with the regulars, etc. I've had some pretty good conversations with some of the regular customers and the workers of the coffee shop. Many friendships have grown from these conversations and such. But one thing that still makes me laugh and sometimes upset are these gross, perverted, old men who sit in the coffee shop and STARE at the female employees. My girlfriend is a hottie, I know this. And I can see how these creepy old men can stare at all the other employees as well. A lot of the time, right in front of my face. Sometimes I just laugh, sometimes I am not afraid to tell them to back the fuck off. Regardless of who the person is, sometimes, you just shouldn't say certain shit to people and think it is okay. Does it happen with younger customers as well, of course. But I don't mind them as much. (Though there are some other events that have happened I just won't comment on now. But yea.) It's these old farts in their 40's to 60's who are a Cialis away from panting and barking like a dog in heat towards my gf and the other employees. I have noticed it more with my girlfriend than the other employees, mainly because I usually only sit her during her shifts, not the others. These old men, some that are married, sit and stare like a 10 year old seeing porn for the first time. It's pretty blatant staring and in some cases, creepily smiling. The girlfriend had a customer the other day sit at the bar and stare and smile at her while she was working with her sister. The customer continually tried calling her over to talk with her and said things along the lines of "you have a world class body". Blows my mind that some old man would be that insanely creepy to say something like that to her.
Her job is a joke. It's too bad she has a job that she loves so much who is ran by a complete moron. Who by the way is perfect in every sense. He's a douche, and I don't care if he knows I hate him. I could tell him all his flaws quite easily. He's probably too dumb to understand though.
Oh my opinions on things that don't even involve me.
I have been extremely stressed this week due to apartment hunting. We finally found a place and all decided to apply on it, but now we have to wait to see if we get approved. It's low-income housing, so between 4 of us, we have to make under $42,000. So quite easy since I am unemployment and the gf and her sister work as baristas at a coffee shop. The other being unemployed and not receiving anything also helps. But we will see. It makes me nervous having to wait.
This is a pretty shitty post I would say. I had some pretty good gems back in the day. Maybe once I get back into writing and such, I will be more prevalent in my thoughts. Maybe.
So one thing I wanted to talk about today is something I have witnessed over the past year. How creepy some fuckin people are. I sit at my girlfriends work from time to time and play on the internet, drink coffee, chat with the regulars, etc. I've had some pretty good conversations with some of the regular customers and the workers of the coffee shop. Many friendships have grown from these conversations and such. But one thing that still makes me laugh and sometimes upset are these gross, perverted, old men who sit in the coffee shop and STARE at the female employees. My girlfriend is a hottie, I know this. And I can see how these creepy old men can stare at all the other employees as well. A lot of the time, right in front of my face. Sometimes I just laugh, sometimes I am not afraid to tell them to back the fuck off. Regardless of who the person is, sometimes, you just shouldn't say certain shit to people and think it is okay. Does it happen with younger customers as well, of course. But I don't mind them as much. (Though there are some other events that have happened I just won't comment on now. But yea.) It's these old farts in their 40's to 60's who are a Cialis away from panting and barking like a dog in heat towards my gf and the other employees. I have noticed it more with my girlfriend than the other employees, mainly because I usually only sit her during her shifts, not the others. These old men, some that are married, sit and stare like a 10 year old seeing porn for the first time. It's pretty blatant staring and in some cases, creepily smiling. The girlfriend had a customer the other day sit at the bar and stare and smile at her while she was working with her sister. The customer continually tried calling her over to talk with her and said things along the lines of "you have a world class body". Blows my mind that some old man would be that insanely creepy to say something like that to her.
Her job is a joke. It's too bad she has a job that she loves so much who is ran by a complete moron. Who by the way is perfect in every sense. He's a douche, and I don't care if he knows I hate him. I could tell him all his flaws quite easily. He's probably too dumb to understand though.
Oh my opinions on things that don't even involve me.
I have been extremely stressed this week due to apartment hunting. We finally found a place and all decided to apply on it, but now we have to wait to see if we get approved. It's low-income housing, so between 4 of us, we have to make under $42,000. So quite easy since I am unemployment and the gf and her sister work as baristas at a coffee shop. The other being unemployed and not receiving anything also helps. But we will see. It makes me nervous having to wait.
This is a pretty shitty post I would say. I had some pretty good gems back in the day. Maybe once I get back into writing and such, I will be more prevalent in my thoughts. Maybe.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
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